This week's penguin: Sure, if you believe Big Internet...

This week's penguin: Moochiest deity ever.

This week's penguin: It's always gingers. Black cats have better things to do.

This week's penguin: Penguins are smart enough to have skipped synthetic data altogether.

This week's penguin: A survey of holiday seasonal disorders.

This week's penguin: Then there's the overeating season. Which is all of them.

This week's penguin: Scary is one way to describe it.

This week's penguin: There's a real art to getting on that list.

This week's penguin: Grift isn't always worth the trouble.

This week's penguin: Who talks like that?

This week's penguin: There's no such thing as an accidental tail.

This week's penguin: Yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

This week's penguin: Some penguins never wear white hats after Labor Day!

This week's penguin: Penguin Turing Tests are hard!