This week's penguin: However, there is no such thing as too vulgar.

This week's penguin: Texting is the new intercom (ask your grandparents...)

This week's penguin: That fight wasn't the slightest bit contrived.

This week's penguin: It's an imprinting thing.

This week's penguin: Asking for a friend.

This week's penguin: Then again, doing just about anything makes me hungry.

This week's penguin: Is there any challenge in hunting a bag of kibble? No there is not!

This week's penguin: When dinner depends on bandwidth.

This week's penguin: It is a play on birds. Sorry.

This week's penguin: To-go to impress.

This week's penguin: And they bring home alllll their laundry!

This week's penguin: On the internet, nobody knows you're not a bear.

This week's penguin: The mind-empty part is easy, though.