This week's penguin: At least in my universe.

This week's penguin: Creatively lazy.

This week's penguin: I'm sorry this essay is so long. I didn't have the GPU to generate a shorter one.

This week's penguin: If that _was_ required, I'd have made it a herring tequila decanter.

This week's penguin: When you really really have to be literal _and_ specific

This week's penguin: Accountability? ...in your dreams!

This week's penguin: Another great niche business opportunity.

This week's penguin: Arguing: A sport you can do sitting down indoors while eating

This week's penguin: So... wait... ...it _is_ rational?

This week's penguin: The illusions of kittenhood.

This week's penguin: Very very niche entertainment.

This week's penguin: Being a businessbear: not as easy as it looks.

This week's penguin: For instance, there are approximately 525,600 minutes in a year.