This week's penguin: Scary is one way to describe it.

This week's penguin: There's a real art to getting on that list.

This week's penguin: Grift isn't always worth the trouble.

This week's penguin: Who talks like that?

This week's penguin: There's no such thing as an accidental tail.

This week's penguin: Yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

This week's penguin: Some penguins never wear white hats after Labor Day!