This week's penguin: It's not _no_ work! I have to push the button!

This week's penguin: Loosely based on a true story.

This week's penguin: But definitely not a tie.

This week's penguin: It's the thought, though.

This week's penguin: A little duct tape and it will be good as new.

This week's penguin: Plus we want them to stop hogging the outlets in the break room.

This week's penguin: And maybe not use your pet's name.

This week's penguin: Really _really_ good pictures.

This week's penguin: Or, you could just buy Australia and put a sail on it.

This week's penguin: Adventures in workforce retention...

This week's penguin: And only the everyday tea service.

This week's penguin: The art of distillation.

This week's penguin: I didn't do any of those things in the first place.