This week's penguin: Scary is one way to describe it.

This week's penguin: There's a real art to getting on that list.

This week's penguin: Grift isn't always worth the trouble.

This week's penguin: Who talks like that?

This week's penguin: There's no such thing as an accidental tail.

This week's penguin: Yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

This week's penguin: Some penguins never wear white hats after Labor Day!

This week's penguin: Penguin Turing Tests are hard!

This week's penguin: It doesn't always take tech to fix tech.

This week's penguin: Time off.

This week's penguin: Po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to.

This week's penguin: Oh well, maybe next year.

This week's penguin: And early photographers had to deal with the soul-eating camera argument.

This week's penguin: Otherwise you'd fall off the edge.